xxvii. north bay, I love you.

I love you but there are some things about you that confuse me so much. For instance, why is it that when I come here I feel ridiculously skinnier. It's mean to say but I feel like 50% of our population is obese. Another thing, as much as I love my parents I dislike my lack of freedom while living at home. I really want to go for a walk, clear my head but it's almost midnight and kinda "dangerous" to do that. For those of you who don't know I live in the west side of north bay commonly known to the town folk as Ferris. Now I personally don't think Ferris is that bad, heck I've been living here for a good 16 years of my life but I guess according to multiple sources ferris has changed in the last 2 years.

Regardless of my confined space right now I had an overall awesome night. It began around 4pm when my mom came home from work, why was it awesome at 4pm you ask? Because that's when the car became available. I jumped in and drove to Michelles. Now Michelle also lives in ferris so I'm sure she would agree with my above statement of parents not allowing there adult children to roam the streets alone after dark (In their defense a kid was stabbed behind the A+P for a bike and pocket change, or so I've heard). After I picked her up we drove to Matt's (who lives downtownish) and then to the mall. While at the mall I think Brandon D texted me a good 10 times before I answered. After we found him we decided to go for dinner.

Originally we were going to go to Burger World but unfortunately it was packed as it was Tuesday all you can eat pasta! (they sell pasta at a local burger joint? I was confused) Instead we went to Boston Pizza. Now I know what your thinking, ouu Boston Pizza sounds delicious, wrong.. I think our Boston Pizza is the sketchiest sit down restaurant in the bay. My friends said it best saying, "It's like a mcdonalds for pizza+pasta" yeah I know right.

Anyways, while there we caught up on our lives and junk and of course what other members of the old scene (NBMC) were up to. Now I find it hilarious that no matter where I am (oakville, north bay, oshawa) local music and the people involved in it are huge topics of discussion, I think I've come to this conclusion: "once a scene kid always a scene kid" and I'm going to leave it at that I can't even fight it anymore haha...

After our gross trip to BP we went to matt's and watched LOST with Brandon's GF and Kaylie B.

It was an overall great night, nothing super exciting but believe it or not that's how I like my life in north bay to be, there is no drama and it's great it's a break from my normal life and I'm able to relax. So even though you're a sketchy small town atmosphere, north bay that's why I love you. Please don't change EVER.

thanks (:

xxvi. minus the fact that you hate me...

... my life is pretty damn great. I'm not lying at all, I'm being completely honest. I wish you didn't hate me but I can't change how you're feeling especially because you wont even speak to me. If you're going to listen to someone else's interpretation of something just to get laid or get attention then that's fine, I guess you weren't the person I thought you were. It's so funny that I'm even wasting my breathe on this and all you're not even going to read it. The only people who will are the ones who think it's ridiculous that I'm even holding onto the thought of being friends with you. They think I'm stupid for wanting to and I don't blame them, if I was in their shoes I would think I was a complete idiot. To be honest the only reason I'm holding on to anything is cause somewhere in the back of my mind I feel like you still sorta care, but really I think I'm just delusional and stupid. Well in case you read this, have a nice life it was great knowing you to bad you don't want to be friends, it could have been a lot of good times.

with love.

xxv. I really over do this!

I think Hayley Williams is a musical genius,

check her out below covering Bad Romance by Lady Gaga

xxiv. song lyrics.

Just a quick little post.

I know I'm not the only one here, but isn't it weird how no matter how much time has passed or how much you have changed as a person, that certain songs bring you back to a certain time in your life? Or worse remind you of certain people.

Sometimes it's a good thing like every time I hear any song from "From Under the Cork Tree" by Fall Out Boy I immediately think grade 10. Or when I hear "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day I think of my grade 11 boyfriend. But then there are the times when songs make you sad because you remember how happy you were at one point. Don't worry I'm pretty happy about life right now but like I don't know I think it sucks how I think of certain people when I hear certain songs. Irritates me is all...

xxiii. oh lordyy

Yesterday was interesting. I don't want to blame it on alcohol, or rebound, or anything like that. To sum it up I made 4 rules. I broke two. Here they are have fun guessing which ones I broke.

1. No Drunk Texts

2. No Crying

3. No making out/hooking up with randoms

4. No puking

... :( x0x0.

xxii. that didn't last long...

single again! any takers? cause seriously I'm starting to live up to my high school rep

"most likely to become a crazy cat lady" meow.

rip relationship

Jan 6th-Feb 3rd 2010.

xxi. muah!

new month, new blog

sometimes, I feel like I have to step back and look at the big picture before I explode over the little things. I have great friends that allow me to do that, and like who knows where i'll be in 10, 20, 30 years but where ever that may be I can't stress because it's not now. instead of panicing about the future I think I'm going to focus on what's going on in the present and see it for how great it really is.

[I'm sorry if I stress you out, I'm just not used to everything, I've been hurt so many times that I see constant attention as the only form of caring. please keep at me I promise I won't let you down.] x0x0 <--- to bad I was screwed again, go lisa!

I'm a cheese ball. :P

it's cute.

xx. fingers crossed.

I really should be cleaning, but I felt like I needed to clear my head. Today has so far been kind of odd. I was woken up by a phone call from my dad saying he was coming to visit for lunch. Now, being woken up is never my cup of tea but whatever it was kind of a nice surprise, especially cause he drove here from Oshawa (It's on the other side of the GTA).

The reality of the situation though is that during lunch (at Turtle Jacks (which I love!!)) he kind of brought up the whole what are you plans after school? So heres the thing, even though in the back of my mind I knew it was coming I never really sat down and thought about the fact that I'm done college in 2 and a half months. I keep telling myself I have tons of time but the truth is I really don't. No matter how hard I try the clock keeps ticking and I keep going no where.

To sum up my thoughts here it goes. I need to find an internship. I know that's an obvious one especially if you know anything about my program. However heres the real issue I keep putting everything off. Ugh, what to do. I've become so lazy and so pre occupied with my social life that the real reason I'm here has been pushed aside.

My next dilemma is where to get my internship. Cause okay, lets face it. I've already interned at MTV and I know myself and I know that my next step would be to take a shot at Much Music. But the logical part of my brain is like "Lisa, do you really think you will get a job straight out of that internship?" maybe not? But should I try or take the logical route and take something local?

Lisa's Brain/Thought Process.

DREAMS vs. REALITY.

CHILDHOOD vs. ADULTHOOD.

What to do, what to do... my lease is up in May.

Oh, fun fact, my roommate thinks I'm nuts cause I cleaned the oven with floor cleaner and I burnt my hand on the oven making heat up dinners, I really need to grow up... eventually I will.

haha ... some random in the learning commons called me a hipster... hardly.

x0x0

xix. shine on you crazy diamond.

Yeah, my title makes no sense.

It came to mind when I was like "Hey Lisa you need a title?"

Anyways, lets catch up.

My life has changed a bit, I'm kind of in a rut when it comes to school though. I'm so over being there, I don't know why, meh maybe it's just this week.

I've learned today that I am a extremely jealous person *bad trait* but like, I can't help it sometimes. Positive? I try to see the good in people.

I have a boyfriend now. He's pretty rad.

I want to layer my hair, it's thick, I hate it.

Today, Theo and I decided were going to get tattoos together, yay for friendship (don't worry totally different things though)

I have to transcribe at 8am tomorrow gah.

I love Hayley Prescott.

I was bored and painted my nails yellow with pink polka dots, they were supposed to be purple but they look pink.

I want summer to be here like now.

I wish I could talk to Brandon D and Michelle, I miss them and they could help me work through my problems.

I'm really tired. Night Y' all

found this on a friends facebook profile today, I thought it was epic. x0

xviii. 2010.

I'ts 2010!!!

Happy New Year all.

I'm on cloud nine.

I hope it stays that way :)

... karma I love you please don't fuck me over <3